Am I Really Busy?

Ooops is it 5:48pm?  Where did time go?   It's already dark outside my office window.  The students are having their dinner in the kitchen.  It's amazing how quick time flies.  The day ended really fast.  I don't even think I have accomplished enough. In fact the table still seems full with papers to check, records that need updating, readings that are long overdue...oh the list of things to do is just endless.

Am I really busy?  No, I don't think so.  I have enough time, just like everybody does, to accomplish much more.  Busy?  Nope.  Distracted, yes maybe.   I feel like a bug that has fallen belly up, all worked out but has gotten nowhere.  

Why am I like this?  Am I trying to drown myself so that I can escape reality.  Is this my way of grieving? I don't know.  But I am sure I need to focus and refocus at the same time.  I need to get my priorities right--to go beyond checking off items from my to do list and begin investing time in things that really matter like my relationships--with my Lord and with the people who are important to me. Oh how I want to savor the taste of my every meal and enjoy laughs and conversation more.  I want to linger listening to music and sermons.  I want to enjoy watching the bright colors of Christmas and the sweetness of its melody.  I want to slow down and feel every moment.

The words of the Psalmist is a reminder for me to "Be still and know that I am God" 

(Psalm 46:10).